So the past 3 weeks have been possibly the most stressful 3 three weeks of my life for multiple reasons. And since I'm on my three day weekend up in Austin, I was like "Yes! Perfect time to relax and not worry!" But being me, I found something to worry about. Always.
It shouldn't even be something to worry about, I mean it's not like I have to make this decision RIGHT NOW or even in the next couple of years... But I've been putting a ton of thought and effort into what I want my life to be like when I grow up. I used to want to be something along the lines of 'queen of corporate america', or maybe someone who runs a buisness overseas. I'm pretty set on the whole living overseas dealio because that's what I've grown up doing and I've loved every second of it. And I know I would do absolutely anything to get that.
Then I realized that buisness might not be my thing. I just don't know how interested I'll be in it. I never seriously considered photography as an option, and mostly because my parents are always like "It's a good hobbie." Hobbie. Not job. Hobbie. Interest, activity, not something you do to sustain yourself. But right now that's where my heart is. That could change (knowing me, all this could change tomorrow), but right now that's what I want. This past summer has been really exciting for me- photorgaphy wise- and it has planted something in my heart. I had so many shoots for people, and whenever I've been asked to do a shoot for someone/someone's kids it just makes me the happiest person ever. I love it, and I love the feeling I get when I can capture someone's personality, or emotion in a picture. Not just people but everything.
I also recieved a message from the graphics department at the church headquarters in SLC asking to use some of my pictures and that made me so, so ecstatic. So I guess I've let my mind wander, and I think it would be the most phenomenal thing ever to be a photographer for the AP (associated press). Photographers don't normally get paid well, but if you're good enough you can be stationed overseas (obviously that's what I'd be aiming for) and that would just make my life. I've also been told if you graduate from Colombia University, jobs for photographers, photojournalism, stuff like that is a breeze to get. Maybe I could go there for graduate school after majoring in photography at BYU... You know what? I don't know.
Again, this all could change in a heartbeat. I tend to play around with many different ideas and this is just one I really like right now. But I had to vent and talk somewhere because I don't think my parents like me thinking about photography as an actual job... infact I'm positive they don't.
However, today I realized I love being in the country. I love small towns. I love when everyone knows each other. I love when you feel like a close knit community. I love when everyone is so friendly. I love southern hospitality. I honestly think I could be happy working at a diner serving pancakes every day in a small town. But then there's the side of me that wants to change the world but doesn't exactly know how to do it.
I just want to do something that will make me happy and I'm trying to find out what that is.
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